BeTempered Episode 124 – Losing Three Children and Wrestling With God with Holly Jordan Trevillion

Three children. One rare disease. A mother left asking how she could keep living, and what she could still believe.

Author Holly Jordan Trevillion joins hosts Ben Spahr and Dan Schmidt to share the story behind her memoir, This High Mountain. Her son Jamie and daughters Hillary and Hannah were all diagnosed with metachromatic leukodystrophy, known as MLD. Holly takes us from the first signs that something was wrong to the devastating realization that the same disease threatened all three of her children.

She shares the realities of transplant decisions, long hospital stays, complications, and years of care at home. She also talks about the moments no parent can prepare for, including leaving the hospital without your child and trying to imagine a future after losing all three.

Holly is honest about what grief did to her faith, her marriage, and her ability to keep going. She opens up about divorce, using alcohol to numb the pain, thoughts of suicide, and a later abusive relationship. Along the way, she wrestled with anger toward God and the fear that asking hard questions meant she had failed Him.

Through that struggle, Holly describes a changing understanding of faith, moving from legalism and fear toward grace. We talk about lament, unanswered prayers, and what it means to bring God the feelings you think you’re supposed to hide.

Today, Holly is telling her story so others facing grief and despair can feel less alone. Her testimony makes room for the questions, the setbacks, and the slow work of learning to live again.

Find Holly’s memoir, This High Mountain, on Amazon:

https://a.co/d/0eofJWLA

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